I can't write back to you

I can't listen to you I can't talk to you I can't use the return button on this computer. I miss your face... I told you I liked it and I am not lying. I want to see it again. I want to be there in that room. I'm bad at figuring and sorting my life out and I apologize for that. I apologize for the mess. I don't know if you'll ever read this but if you do... thank you. for taking the time. I hope you see it and know how much you mean to me and how much I think about you and want to have my life work out with you in it. it's all here. it's all there. my phone is dying and I'm going to bed. goodnight

von Einfachheit

is this true for everyone

roman art and architecture, a space heater, some tiles, a chair, a lamp, flowers, a blanket, shoes, keys, curtains
disappointment wanderlust ache

feeling that you've lost your hold on reality, whatever that was
lips teeth tongue eyes hands I need to be there
time warps wraps and loses itself around me I have seen and been told this
is it all falling am I falling
can I eat your fingertips
can I lick your spine clean
can I chew the morsels of meat from your forearms

I'll keep you, broken-fingered skeleton boy
we'll dance

how do you say

those things to me
that no one else would know to say
that I wouldn't even know I wanted someone to say
until it's escaped it's way out of your lips I want
am I a textbook case of a failed success
can I pay rent in pennies corks and pocket lint
a night of wet cold rain and sweat
a morning of dry sunlight and dust
of liquid on the floor
an open door to the sweet awakening outside
I make things up but are dreams real I think they are so I've had some times with you
I hope that's all right
all right
table of contents
water
air
a burning urge to burn life up
need for your face
frustration at the utter unknowledge of life and the rest of the universe
ability to make up words to explain myself
ability to shake at the core and fall down when you say things like that... simplicity
love of rolling down hills
peace and quiet and the opposite things
a vast... avast! cease. desist. but really... a vast collection of thoughts memories and curiosities
curios is a word I like
I'm just rambling now but
it's all right

sleep

it crept up and smothered me
where were my dreams and fears
I surfaced a few times but could not shake free from its terrifying grip
if you were here beside me...

I would not feel this aching uneasiness
the falling inward
the



I have an airplane

I can't even.

I remember staring at your face

it seemed to make so much sense it was overwhelming but not
it was just what it was
one night one hour we had a week of dates and excursions
I have the ability to warp time and I use it well I think
threats of apocalypse always make it more exciting
dreams are more than flighty fireflies in your sleeping head
there's fireflies do you see them
don't just sleep

cover up your insides

don't let them touch touch take secret steps around the outside walls and don't disappear or disappoint or discontinue disconnect and reencounter
swishing symphonies of blades of grass play in my ear
I want to roll down this hill
are lights blurry is time a misconception it all seems fine to me
I have gotten used to being confused and spun around and smiling because of it all
let's have another sip and stay for the rest of whatever time is
I wouldn't mind

I'm a mess and jumping over tendons and binding structures on my plane dancing across the ribs and vertebrae is the best time I could ever have
I won't fall it's made of me

facebook in the morning

if things could change, i could tear out your eyeballs and keep them on a string around my neck. i could slice off your gorgeous lips and carry them in my pocket for safekeeping. tell me love, do you want to fly on my skeleton plane? drinks from the birds eye will change your perspective for the better, you'll see that nothing really matters except me and you

I can't really write about it

it's too early or too late I'm not sure which one or if they're the same... every word I think of that explains it is too giving away and will show my insides backwards and twisted mess that they aare. it's an uncontrollable rush of moments in my head though and even if I can't tell it in a lyrical line of prose it is making my disposition flutter and yearn for shhhhhhhhhh

ghostboy

touch my fingertips
you're eyes eat me
you look right in me
I can't stand it
I need it
you make me shake



it's fake is it is it fake
let me know

remove

I will remove whatever I like
your eyes your teeth your tongue
and keep them in boxes with ribbons for closures
and tiny labels with your name and the date I stole your life

tsk tsk fork tines not shiny enough for my kind
slither down the backside down the spine
tasting sweat and salt and wine
I prefer my gin and lime

is that you

are you creeping outside my window as a moth
creep into my veins my lungs fill my head up with vaporous love
choking blinding ecstasy and then nothing
we'll die one day.
take my hand and I'll break your fingers for you it feels so nice

feigning sleep

distance and distants I never could diffuse the possibilities and the flooding dams that were my eyes
I'll take a bite out of you but give it back again take it back again again
we'll dance we'll spin under eaves of green leaves and twisting branches
don't take me too seriously don't take me for granted don't take me
listening to breathing and a fan breathe in breathe in the out disappears with the humming of the blades
I'll pull you in I'll
stop
stop and breathe so softly you dare to
see my eyes see them roll to the ceiling and shut tight lip bite
magic in bottles makes my nights swirly lyrical melodical... mechanical being so far away
relief replaces regret
wind in hair replaces the threat of never being all right
even for a day or summer is better than bad nights I'll take it
I'll see where it takes me
I'll see if you take me